By Brittany Tiplady
@yellowbird888
March was one of those months where the same celebrity news stories circulated over and over again until we were are all numb and over it! But then, April happened and so did the hot goss. There are a few headlines that I won’t get into all the way, but must be mentioned nonetheless! Those headlines being:
- Britney Spears checking into a mental health facility as the health of her father declines
- Kris Humphries announces his retirement from basketball, admits to crippling anxiety after his quickie Kardashian marriage broke the internet
- The JLO and ARod get engaged! But then, their engagement is followed by bizarre ARod cheating rumours and accusations by Jose Canseco on…Twitter. Personally, I need to believe that these rumours are FALSE! As my wise-husband said: “who the fuck would cheat on Jennifer Lopez?”
- Allison Mack pleads guilty in a dramatic and tearful speech to charges related to alleged sex cult NXIVM
- Miley Cyrus has either lost her mind, or is not-so-discreetly plugging a Hannah Montana reboot. If you follow her, then you’ve been privy to her daily Instagram stories wearing the Hannah Montana wig, singing classic Disney Channel songs, and just all-around bringing the nostalgia?
- Nipsey Hussle death and the chaos to follow. According to police sources, on March 31, 2019, Hussle was shot multiple times in the parking lot of his store, Marathon Clothing, in South Los Angeles. Two others were wounded in the shooting. I personally did not know who Nipsey Hussle was before this story broke, but I respect the deep outpouring of sadness that emerged from this story. There seems to be a new development on his murder every hour, so it’s a tough one to fully summarize. With that said, XXL Mag is doing a great job of reporting on the case here.
And now, let’s really get into it, shall we?
Charges against Jussie Smollett are dropped and his record is wiped clean.
I am v confused about this story. According to Vulture, “Yes, charges against the actor were dropped as of March 26 by the Cook County State’s Attorney’s Office. While the prosecutors have not revealed why they dropped the felony charges, they said the decision was made after reviewing all of the facts in light of Smollett’s forfeiture of his $10,000 bond. Usually when charges are dropped, the bond is returned to the defendant; in this case, Smollett agreed to give the bond he paid to the city, which is unprecedented.” This results of this case have completely divided the internet. Some celebrities are reaching out in full support of this charge reversal, others are outraged, and most of us are scratching our heads.
Cardi B responds to old livestream video where she says she drugged and robbed men
I am a Cardi B STAN but girrrll, this fucked up! A recording of an old Instagram Live resurfaced late March, where Cardi B admits to drugging and robbing men during her stripper days to “survive.”
The weird thing about this three-year-old live, is that she is aggressively yelling into the camera, and shouts this information out in what seems like a defense to other accusations? Anyway, promptly after the hashtag #SurvivingCardiB began to trend on Twitter, and folks started to compare Cardi’s past behaviours to the likes of R. Kelly and Bill Cosby. Cardi publicly apologized in a since-deleted Instagram post, admitting that she has done things she is not proud of, and will continue to not glorify her actions in her music as other rappers do.
Cardi’s no good husband, jumps to her defence on Instagram.
Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber continue to be annoying AF
There’s been a lot of micro-headlines surrounding the Biebers lately, but I could honestly not care less because I cannot stand them?? I just don’t get it. Their coupledom is not for me. Why you ask? Well for one, do they ever shower? They look TERRIBLE all the time. So greasy! So much sweatpants! Why is Bieber always crying in public? Can you tell I was a Jelena stan? Last week, I was listening to the Comments by Celebs podcast and those gals LOVE to gush over the Bieber clan and I couldn’t help but belt out a little WHO CARES while listening to their show and simultaneously parallel parking for my chiropractor appointment (yes, I’m that good). Digressing! Three things happened in the Instagram world that have all eyes on Justin: one, his posts regarding his mental health, his aversion to making new music, and etc.
Two, is the incredibly unsavoury “April Fools” posts he made, claiming that Hailey is pregnant. Ya know. The age old April Fools prank that everyone knows is now insensitive but still does anyway! Instagram went IN on him for this one, and once again, poor Baby Bieber had to apologize for his lame jokes. The third incident, was a comment made just for Comments By Celebs, posted by Jelena fan account, appropriately called @Jaileyisajoke. I’ll let the screenshot speak for itself.
Mel B says she and Geri Halliwell had sex!
You guys? This is AWESOME! But also really dumb how heteronormative we all are, making something so not-crazy-feel-very-crazy! Personally, when I read this headline, I was like OBVIOUSLY? I mean, I pretty much assumed that all this time, during lonely nights on the double decker Union Jack tour bus, at least two of the Spice Girls were getting their lady bang on, but maybe that’s just me! Anyway, straight people everywhere had a field-day with this story.
Melanie “Mel B” Brown, during a taping of Piers Morgan’s upcoming Life Stories series, that she had sex with her Spice Girls bandmate Geri Halliwell Horner during their time together in Spice Girls.
In the preview, Morgan grills Brown. “You were coming here to be brutally honest,” he said, quoting the title of Brown’s book. “Did or didn’t you sleep with Geri Halliwell? Did you sleep with her?”
“Yeah, we all slept in a bed together, but not like that,” Brown said, before eventually nodding her head yes — and adding that Halliwell Horner, who’s married to motorsport racer Christian Horner was “going to hate me for this.”
According to People Magazine, “rumours have long swirled that Brown and Halliwell Horner had a romantic connection, and that appeared to be enough to drive Morgan’s questioning.” Recently, Ginger Spice fired BACK, saying that the events were not true, and Mel B has decided to back peddle as well. I mean? Why is everyone getting their knickers in a knot?
The Great College Admissions Scandal
When this story broke I was downright shook. I was running late to the office, in a $12 van cab that was jerking and speeding all over the downtown core, and I was about to ask the driver to crack a window because my motion sickness was on the rise, when the CBC announced in a breaking story revealing Aunt Becky Lori Loughlin and Lynette Scavo Felicity Huffman’s involvement–along with 33 other parents–in a college admissions bribery ring.
I opened Facebook and the news was breaking all over my timeline. My mom tagged me in a post, with a very warranted “omg!!!!!” (my mom is my celebrity news assistant. Shoutout to Susana!).
And then, we didn’t stop hearing about it for weeks on end and now I couldn’t care less of about this very-boring-privileged-white-people story that only gets more cringey as the hours go by.
But, in the moment, this story was very exciting and very shocking, and very scandalous, especially considering Loughlin’s wholesome image. Let’s get into it shall we?
Tuesday, March 12 2019:
The US Federal government indicted William Singer, a college admissions consultant based out of Newport Beach, California along with Loughlin, Huffman, and 33 other parents for crimes that included bribery and racketeering for purpose of fraudulently getting children into college.
It was revealed that Singer has collected over $25 million between 2011 and 2019 through the scheme, collecting cheques from high-power parents including a gaming executive, a Napa Valley vintner, the co-chair of an international law firm, a Silicon Valley investor who ironically advocates for social responsibility, and the two actresses.
The feds say all 33 of the accused paid to either have Singer’s cronies help their kids cheat on the ACT and SAT college admissions tests, to secure a spot at elite universities by pretending to be athletes, or both.
During the whole breaking news kerfuffle, Loughlin, because of course, was here in Vancouver filming for Hallmark. While Loughlin was hiding in Vancouver, FBI agents showed up at her Los Angeles home to charge her and her husband, clothing designer and apparent Trump supporter Mossimo Giannulli, with fraud.
Shortly after the news broke, Loughlin returned to Los Angeles to surrender to federal authorities, and was released to continue her work in Vancouver after posting a $1 million bond. Garage Sale Mystery: Three Little Murders was set to wrap filming on March 21, one week before Loughlin’s next scheduled appearance in federal court in Boston on Mar. 29.
Hallmark inevitably gave her the boot, despite being a longtime star of the network’s Christmas movies and franchise productions.
There’s been a lot of speculation whether or not Huffman’s celebrity husband William H. Macy will also be charged; apparently, his name or email address is not involved in any of the correspondence leading up to the final negotiations and agreements, so he looks to be out of the woods on this one.
The damage:
According to court records, Huffman is accused of disguising a $15,000 charitable payment in the bribery scheme. “Prosecutors alleged she met with a confidential witness who explained that he could control a SAT testing center and arrange for someone to proctor her daughter’s test and correct it.”
Loughlin and her husband, J. Mossimo Giannulli, the creator of clothing brand Mossimo, agreed to “pay bribes totaling $500,000 in exchange for having their two daughters designated as recruits to the University of Southern California crew team even though they did not participate in crew.”
Twitter erupts in a steady roar of laughter for approximately two weeks, because breaking the law to get your kids into University of Southern California is as shameful and embarrassing as white privilege gets.
Olivia Jade, the youngest daughter of Loughlin and Giannulli, a YouTuber and influencer, with nearly 2 million YouTube subscribers, was subsequently dropped from her brand deals, including contracts with TRESemmé, Sephora and Princess Polly.
It’s unclear whether Loughlin’s daughters have dropped out of USC due to conflicting reports, but nether celebrity party in this scandal have put out an official statement. Early this morning, April 10, Page Six reported that “the University of Southern California won’t allow Lori Loughlin‘s two daughters to drop out of school despite allegations their rich parents bribed the girls’ way into getting there.”
Loughlin, Huffman, and Olivia Jade were recently spotted in the wild after weeks of hiding. It has been reported that Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty, and Loughlin has pleaded not guilty which could earn her up to two years in prison.
The court proceedings for this case are happening soon, so this story is still unfolding.
Wendy Williams goin’ through some shit
On Tuesday, March 19, Talk show host Wendy Williams got incredibly candid with her studio audience. “I have been living in a sober house,” she said to the camera tearfully. “You know, I’ve had a struggle with cocaine in the past. I never went to a place to get treatment. There are people in your family; it might be you. I want you to know more of the story.” After major speculation at the rumour mill after fainting on camera and subsequently taking two months off from her show, Williams revealed that she’s been living in a sober house in Queens.
According to CCN, “Williams returned to her hosting duties March 4 after more than two months on hiatus. She originally said she was stepping away to focus on health issues stemming from Graves’ disease, an autoimmune disorder that causes overstimulation of the thyroid. It can lead to eye inflammation, racing heartbeat, hand tremors, trouble sleeping, weight loss, muscle weakness and neuropsychiatric symptoms, according to the American Thyroid Association,” but it is now unclear whether the Graves diagnoses was a beard for other health issues.
In the wake of this news, Perez Hilton had the AUDACITY to kick Williams while she was down, and publish a public YouTube video on his dumb channel, accusing her of lying to her fans and letting them down. Everyone, let this be known! I am super over Perez Hilton.
Days after her emotional announcement, it was reported that Williams husband, Kevin Hunter had a baby with his alleged mistress, Sharina Hudson. Williams subsequently experienced a relapse after the news went viral and was rushed to the hospital. ET reported that sources say, Hunter sent Williams to the sober living facility so that she could be out of the way when the baby was born. YIKES!
The Wendy Williams show is still taping live, and girl is still spilling the tea, so I hope she’s okay? Truthfully, Wendy Williams has always given me a hot mess vibe, but I’m rooting for her nonetheless!
This story is still unfolding
Wow, wow, wow! I’m exhausted. Thanks for tuning in, and my apologies if any major gossip was missed. Who knew writing a celebrity news column was such a tough gig? See you next month!
Brittany Tiplady is a writer, editor, former ballet teacher, and the co-founder of Loose Lips Magazine. She loves the indoors, fast wifi, collecting maps, and a generous glass of red wine. She’s a self-proclaimed wizard of time management and a notorious loud talker with a penchant for all things Internet and pop culture.
