By Kristi Alexandra
@kristialexandra

Dutch Wren is starting a sex-positive revolution in Nanaimo. 

The plumber-turned-sex shop owner and self-proclaimed sex nerd is creating a safe space for folks of all identities. Their shop, Intersection Adult Emporium, is “dedicated to celebrating consensual sexual expression in all its beautifully diverse flavours and combinations.” That’s something, they say, that’s sorely lacking on Vancouver Island. 

Located on the corner of Franklyn and Selby Street in downtown Nanaimo, you’ll be able to find gender-affirming gear, sex toys, and books at Intersection Adult Emporium. Most importantly–Wren stresses–at the core of the shop’s material offerings is sex positivity, social justice and feminist ideals.

Wren is nonbinary and transmasculine, an experience that qualifies them to educate others on the gender-affirming gear you’ll be able to find in the shop. Intersection Adult opened its doors in early August which, they say, is “officially offering a community resource and access point, as well as an erotic boutique where the radical possibilities of pleasure are prioritized.”

I called Wren to learn more about Intersection Adult Emporium in their own words.

You classify yourself as a sex nerd – tell me more about that.

A couple years ago I got into BDSM and kink, and along with that comes a lot of educating that you have to do, especially around consent and communication. There’s just so many different paths and avenues when it comes to that, that I’ve been studying and reading. I’m definitely not an expert on it, but I can’t get enough of it, and all I want to do all day is read about it and talk about it, so I think that classifies me as a nerd.

You quit a lucrative job in plumbing to start an intersectional sex shop. Why? 

It was lucrative, but my whole job was to sell shit to people who didn’t need it. I was really encouraged to upsell, and I got really good at it, but it didn’t jive with my politics very well. It contributed to some depression and anxiety, so I needed a change and I just wanted to do what I love all day. The best part of my day when I wake up is knowing that I’m gay and that I get to talk to gay people today. That just feeds my soul. [The shop] is, of course, open to straight people as well, but I want them to know this is a safe space for queer-identified people. There’s literally nothing like this on the island, there is no such store… I wanted to model it after something like Little Sisters in Vancouver, but even them, they’re really focused on gay men, and you can’t find a single thing for transwomen in their store. I just wanted to create a safe space where everybody in the LGBTQIA umbrella would come and feel at home and just disarm them immediately, and have a safe space.

Why this, why now?

I think Nanaimo needs this because there’s a pretty big LGBTQ community here but there’s literally nowhere for them to gather, so you don’t see them. But I do see them, they’re everywhere. Nanaimo is historically not very kind place when it comes to that, like there are people putting graffiti on the Pride crosswalks and all that shit. I’m doing this now because I needed to get out of plumbing, and this is what I chose to do. 

What kinds of items do you stock and why should people use ‘em?

I stock gender affirming gear — yes, I stock toys as well — but I stock binders, dialators, and then, of course, I’ve also got butt plugs and vibrators and dildos and all that. Mostly, I want people to be able to come here and [and be able to] shop for trans stuff. I really want to appeal to the trans community. My first time buying a binder, I walked into a store and the person behind the counter clearly did not wear binders, so I was kind of freaked out to ask any questions. I think I make people feel pretty comfortable in that regard. That’s the thing about Intersection. It’s really sex positive. No one should be ashamed of wanting to come. It all plays into misogyny. 

One of your offerings is gender affirming clothing. Why is that important to you?

It’s important to me because I like to bind my chest–that is why it’s important to me, specifically. But it’s important to carry gender affirming gear because you literally can’t buy it anywhere in a brick and mortar location, on the island at least. It’s easy to buy it online, but then you have to go through the process of it arriving, and then trying it on, and being like, “that didn’t actually fit.” 

If someone was able to say the words trans, and trans-man or transmasculine, I would have started a lot younger. The culture [when I was growing up] was a lot more transphobic, especially to transwomen, who are the most marginalized in the LGBTQ umbrella. I want to make sure I’m giving them a big platform here, too. 

You’re doing a lot to ensure your space is safe for all identities, what are you doing to include toys and access for all abilities and bodies?

Researching and reading disability activists on Instagram and websites. I made sure to find a space that’s wheelchair accessible, and I’ve got books on disability and care work and all of that. To be honest, this is a source of “I need to do better.” 

All the toys I have here can be used by anybody. I’ve also got harnesses and strap-ons that go up to 5X. No other store carries anything over “large.” Anything over that, people get really fatphobic. The sex industry is one of the most fatphobic industries ever, so I make sure I carry [items that accommodate a range of sizes]. 

You also carry a naloxone kit. Tell me more about that.

I carry a naloxone kit and I was trained in how to use it. We’re in the thick of an opioid crisis and everyone should know how to do that. You can get them for free at doctor’s offices, but you do need to be trained because you’re injecting someone with a needle. It’s really easy. Anybody could do it. I also have other harm-reduction supplies. Harm reduction in general is pretty fucking important right now.

Anything else we should know?

Come hang out and read some books, if you want to escape, come hang out. 

Visit Intersection Adult Emporium at 486D Franklyn St in Nanaimo, or give them a follow on Instagram at @intersectionadult.

Help them celebrate by joining in on their Grand Opening Celebration on Saturday, September 21 at Evolve Nightclub (241 Skinner Street in Nanaimo). Doors at 10 pm.

Kristi Alexandra is an unabashed wino and wannabe musician. Her talents include drinking an entire bottle of cabernet sauvignon, singing in the bathtub, and falling asleep.