Hey Loose Lips readers, we are Brittany and Nicole (Nicole is a new Loose Lips contributor, give her a warm welcome), and we are two girls who, like all girls, have had some outrageous comments thrown at us by the opposite sex.
Nicole (@nicgaudet ): As a 22-year-old queer girl, I’ve had too many boys who treat me like Google for their unwelcome questions regarding my sexual orientation. As a side note, I’m stupidly good at board games and I’m very wary of any male who isn’t in the form of a household pet.
Brittany (@yellowbird888 ): Now that I am a well-seasoned adult (25 IS well-seasoned in my opinion), and marrying a male-feminist extraordinaire, it’s almost comedic to look back at my old flames and think of the ridiculous things that were said to my young, fragile self. Then I realized that a lot of the most ridiculous things said to me came from near strangers. Here is a walk down memory lane.
1. The unsolicited body comments and “You’d be hotter if…”
Brittany: This is one I got alllll through elementary and high school: “You would be way hotter if you straightened your hair.” Seriously? What the fuck.
Nicole: A really lovely boy took one look at my arm hair and told me, “You need to shave these.” They keep me warm in the winter. Also, fuck you.
Brittany: After arriving back to South America after 4 months apart to see my long-distance lover, he shouted at the airport after grabbing my hips, “you finally got skinnier!” *Insert wide-eyed emojii*
Nicole: At the end of the school year, a boy who signed my yearbook handed it back to me signed with “you’d be hotter if you had bigger boobs.” Amazing. If only.
2. The female body is a complicated temple and sometimes, boys just don’t get it
Brittany: Oh! I love this one! Once, I was sitting crossed legged on a sidewalk, in shorts, when my ex-boyfriend ran his hands on my dimpled thigh and said (with genuine concern), “what’s wrong with your legs? Are you okay?”
Nicole: As (mostly) all women do, I have inner thigh stretch-marks. While waiting for the bus on a hot summer day, my dude pointed at mine and said “What happened? It looks like someone scratched you.” I guess he doesn’t know that thick thighs come with some killer tiger stripes.
Brittany: I really appreciate their general concern. It’s endearing really.
3. The interrogation game
Brittany: I really hate the “what do you do for fun” questions at a new job. Like, I don’t know? I like to binge watch TV shows and creep Instagram? Let me live! Anyway, during one of those horrifying conversations at a new restaurant job, I stumbled on my answer and my manager, with pity in his eyes, said to me: “you really should think of a better answer.” Determined to own my next ”what do you do for fun,” conversation, at my next shot I proudly announced that I was in the midst of starting a badass online female publication. The pity eyes struck again: “Do you have obsessive compulsive disorder? You talk about your business a lot.”
You win, douchey manager.
Nicole: I was out one night, when I made eye contact with a dude who then grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to him to ask “What’s your story?” When I took my arm away and told him he couldn’t touch me, he proceeded to get offended and called me a bitch for not immediately spilling my life’s journey to him. Ah yes, as a woman who does not want to be touched without her permission, I’m definitely the bitch here. You right homie.
4. The cringe factor
Brittany: I went on a date with a dude who gave me his number while I was working during my Shoppers Drug Mart cashier days. I told him over Coronas that I am half-Peruvian. He kept trying to say Spanish phrases the whole night. I cannot begin to measure the amount of cringe.
Nicole: I asked a guy if he was a feminist and he said “No, I’m an equalist.” I’m sorry, what do you think feminism is? I guess it was better than him being a Meninist. Though, not by much. Oh! He also told me that it’s possible to be racist towards white people. Bye.
#thanksnothanks
