Columns

Ask Kate: Vol 3

We’ve asked our friend Kate Belton to get drunk and answer your questions. Expect honesty. Expect crazy.

By Kate Belton
@k8beee

Please note: Kate’s drunk advice  does not reflect the views of those at Loose Lips Magazine. Reader Discretion is advised.

Dear Kate,

My name is Cecilia, I’m a mid 20’s Van women, Commercial drive Starbucks addict lol, guilty !

Anyway, I began seeing a women who had moved here from a suburb in Alberta. Last week we got far enough in our sex life that I pulled out my realistic looking Strap-On, (and yes had condoms ready lol, always safe) and she freaked! “Feminists don’t use Strap-On’s,” she said.

How do I get through to her that it is are/my right as a woman and feminist to wear whatever I want and not be shamed? A penis is merely a tool for pleasure, not a thing only men should possess. We’re allowed them too right?

Anyways sorry to rant, thank you for listening.

Hope you can help,

Cecilia 

Dear Cecilia,

You’re right. It’s 2015 and we as women can wear whatever the hell we want. Right this second I’m wearing an XXL sweater and no pants and a realistic strap on. Just kidding. All my strap-ons look fake AF.

Okay, so maybe she freaked because she wasn’t prepared, and then just used the feminist thing as an excuse? She’s probably fine with it, she just needs to get to know it..to trust it. Like when a new person starts at your work. Or when you first meet the horse you’re going to be riding when you go on that horseback tour on vacation in Mexico.Your realistic strap-on is her new coworker…her new steed.

I suggest you ask her back out, remind her that you’re super fun and chill so she still feels comfortable and then just wear the strap-on wherever you two go… like it’s a part of your outfit. This will get her used to seeing it, and having it hanging around. The important thing is to always be wearing it. Make it a fixture in the relationship. This is a sure-fire way to make your girl comfortable with your realistic looking strap-on.

And if this doesn’t work, and you have to start at square one with a different girl, just be upfront right away. Strap that Strap-on on, and go out there and fight the good fight, girl. You’ll find someone who appreciates it!

Get back on the saddle.

 

Kate belton

 

 

 

Kate Belton is a stand up comedian who is currently attempting to navigate her late 20s to become a grown up. If her mom asks, it’s going GREAT.